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New Century of Cinema
DOWSE Guide to the
Movies
by Tony Lee editor of
Pigasus
Press
The Bachelor
98 minutes (12) EV
Director: Gary Sinyor
review by Jeff Young
Remember Brewster's Millions - that thrice filmed comedy drama
about an ordinary guy who must spend-spend-spend a small fortune in order to inherit
an even greater amount? Well, this romantic farce sets Chris O'Donnell ('Robin' from
the 1990s' Batman films) a much harder task. He's given just 24 hours to get
married if he wants to inherit a corporate jackpot from his cranky granddad, Peter
Ustinov. The film's blandly contrived set-up results in mildly engaging, variable
comedy as, to secure his $100+ million legacy, O'Donnell's quest for a life partner
lurches from being snubbed by old flames to being jilted-at-the-altar by cynical rent-
a-wife in, perhaps, the coldest mercenary marriage ceremony on record. The thing is
this: inept wannabe groom O'Donnell's non-proposals have already become urban legend,
and it's not until his plight makes news headlines that the girl he's actually in
love with (Renée Zellweger, from Jerry Maguire) returns to find there's
a bride bonanza chasing her beau through the streets.
The supporting cast includes James Cromwell and Edward Asner, with thankfully
brief cameo appearances by Brooke Shields and Mariah Carey (making her film debut -
and no, she can't act), yet they are unable to liven things up much. Daydream fantasy
inserts of wild stallions and lassoed bouquets (in the surreal fashion of Billy
Liar and TV's Ally McBeal) attract charges of style theft, and the plot
degenerates into just another wedding farce. If nothing else, though, The Bachelor
is notable for one immortal line: "I'm not interested in ya goddamn vagina, right. I
just wanna marry you!"
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